For the Luscious Creamy Sauce:
1 (3.4 oz) box of instant cheesecake-flavor pudding mix (OR vanilla pudding mix)
1 (8 oz) block of cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1 (14 oz) can of sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (8 oz) container of frozen whipped topping (like Cool Whip), thawed
For the Fruit Medley:
1 (21 oz) can of cherry pie filling
1 (20 oz) can of pineapple chunks, VERY well drained
1 (11 oz) can of mandarin orange segments, drained
1 ½ cups sweetened shredded coconut
2-3 just-ripe bananas, sliced
The Foolproof Method:
Step 1: Create the Legendary Sauce
In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened cream cheese with a hand mixer until it is completely smooth and lump-free.
Pour in the sweetened condensed milk and the dry pudding mix. Beat on medium speed for 2-3 minutes until the mixture is completely smooth, thick, and well combined.
Gently fold in the thawed whipped topping and the vanilla extract with a spatula until you have a uniform, creamy, and dreamy sauce.
Step 2: Combine the Fruits & Assemble
In an enormous bowl (this makes a lot!), combine the well-drained pineapple chunks, drained mandarin oranges, cherry pie filling, and shredded coconut.
Pour the luxurious creamy sauce over the fruit mixture. Gently fold everything together with a large spatula until every piece of fruit is coated in the sauce.
Now, add the bananas last! Gently fold in the sliced bananas to prevent them from getting mushy.
Step 3: The Patience-Pays-Off Chill
Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, but ideally overnight.
This waiting period is not optional. It is the final act of magic where the pudding mix fully hydrates and thickens, the coconut softens, and all the flavors meld into one unforgettable dessert.
(Prime Ad Placement #2: The assembly stage is highly visual. This is a great place for ads for a classic glass trifle bowl (to show off the layers), a specific hand mixer brand, or a food storage container set for leftovers.)
Pro-Tips for Salad Perfection
DRAIN YOUR FRUIT: This is the most critical step for a thick, not watery, salad. After draining the canned pineapple and mandarins, let them sit in the colander for a few minutes and even press gently with a paper towel.
Room Temp Cream Cheese: Using cold cream cheese will guarantee a lumpy sauce. Ensure it's softened for a silky-smooth texture.
Customize It!
Tropical Twist: Add 1 cup of mini marshmallows and 1/2 cup of chopped pecans or walnuts.
Berry Blast: Fold in 1 cup of fresh strawberries or blueberries with the other fruits.
Piña Colada Style: Use coconut pudding mix instead of cheesecake for an extra tropical punch.
Serving Your Viral Masterpiece
Serve this fruit salad cold, straight from the fridge. It’s rich, so a small scoop is often plenty. It’s the perfect standalone dessert, but it also makes an incredible topping for pound cake or a waffle for a decadent breakfast treat.
(Strong, Engaging Conclusion & Call to Action)
So, does it live up to the name? One bite of this creamy, fruity, textural masterpiece, and you'll be a believer. It's the dessert that creates inside jokes and demands a spot at every family function. It’s not just better than... well, you know. It's simply one of the best desserts you'll ever make.
Now, we have to ask: Have you tried a "Better Than Sex" dessert before? What's the most aptly named, mind-blowing recipe in your own collection? Share your favorites and your own twists on this classic in the comments below!
