This is the #1 complaint I heard.
What happens: The server approaches the table, asks if everyone's ready to order. Everyone nods enthusiastically. The server stands there, pen poised, waiting. And then… silence. Someone isn't sure what they want. Someone else changes their mind. Someone asks, "What's in the chicken?" Then "What's the soup of the day?" Then "What's the difference between the two salmon dishes?"
Why it's annoying: The server could have been helping another table, running food, or checking on drinks. Instead, they're standing there, trapped, while you pretend to be ready.
What to do instead: If you're not ready, say "We need a few more minutes." It's that simple. The server will appreciate your honesty and come back when you're actually prepared.
2. Not Looking at the Menu
What happens: A customer asks, "What's good here?" or "What do you recommend?" without having glanced at the menu.
Why it's annoying: The menu exists for a reason. Asking for recommendations is fine—but at least look at the menu first. Otherwise, the server has to recite the entire menu to you while you nod blankly.
What to do instead: Read the menu. Pick a few items that sound good. Then ask, "Between the salmon and the steak, which do you recommend?" That's specific, helpful, and respectful of the server's time.
3. The "Can I Get..." Run-On Sentence
What happens: The server approaches to take an order, and the customer launches into a monologue: "Can I get a water with lemon, no ice, and actually can you bring extra napkins, and oh, could we have more bread, and do you have any hot sauce, and also my chair is wobbly, and..."
Why it's annoying: Servers have to remember all of that while also taking the rest of the table's orders. It's overwhelming.
What to do instead: Order your food first. Then, when the server is done taking orders, ask for the extras. "And when you have a moment, could we get some extra napkins and a little more bread?" The server can grab those while your food is being prepared.
4. The Phone Call (While Ordering)
What happens: The server approaches the table, and one customer is mid-phone call. They hold up a finger—"Just a second"—and continue their conversation while the server stands there awkwardly.
Why it's annoying: It's incredibly disrespectful. The server's time is valuable. They could be helping other customers or completing other tasks.
What to do instead: End the call. If you absolutely cannot, tell the server, "I'm so sorry, give me one minute" and step away from the table. Don't make them stand there waiting.
5. The "We're in a Rush" Announcement (Without Planning Ahead)
What happens: A table of four sits down, orders drinks, looks at menus for 10 minutes, orders appetizers, eats them, orders entrees, eats them, then asks for the check and announces, "We're in a rush."
Why it's annoying: If you're in a rush, tell your server when you sit down. They can guide you to items that come out quickly, put in your order right away, and bring the check early.
What to do instead: As soon as you're seated, say, "We're on a tight schedule tonight. Can you help us get in and out quickly?" A good server will make it happen.
6. The "Everything Is Fine" (When It's Not)
What happens: The server checks on the table: "How's everything?" The customer says, "Fine." Then later, they complain to the manager about the cold food, the slow service, or the incorrect order.
Why it's annoying: Servers can't fix problems they don't know about. If you speak up when the server checks on you, they can fix it immediately—comp the dish, refire an order, adjust the bill.
What to do instead: Be honest—politely. "The soup is a little cold. Could you warm it up?" "My steak is medium-well instead of medium-rare." "We've been waiting a while for our check." Most servers will jump to fix the problem and thank you for telling them.
7. The "Let's Move to Another Table" (Without Warning)
What happens: A customer decides they don't like their table. Without telling anyone, they pick up their drinks, menus, and silverware and move to another table—sometimes one that's already been cleaned and set for another party.
Why it's annoying: It throws off the entire section. The server may not see that you've moved, so they're looking for you at the old table. The new table may have been reserved. The server may have to reset the old table before seating other guests.
What to do instead: Ask. "Would it be possible to move to that table?" Most servers will happily accommodate if they can. If they can't, they'll explain why.
Bonus Annoyances (From Real Servers)
I asked servers to share their pet peeves. Here's what else they said.
"I'm allergic to gluten" (proceeds to eat the bread basket). If you have a genuine allergy, that's fine. But claiming an allergy and then ignoring it confuses the kitchen and delays food for everyone.
Waving, snapping, or shouting. Servers can see you. They will get to you. Waving your hand like you're hailing a cab or snapping your fingers like you're summoning a dog is rude and demeaning.
Leaving trash on the plate. Napkins, sugar packets, straw wrappers—please put them in an empty bowl or on a bread plate. Nobody wants to pick wet, crumpled napkins off a plate of leftover sauce.
Not stacking plates. This one is debatable. Some servers appreciate when customers stack plates; others find that customers do it wrong (forks on the bottom, greasy plates on top). If you're going to stack, do it neatly.
Filling up on bread and then complaining about portion sizes. The bread is free. The entree is not. If you fill up on bread, don't blame the restaurant when you can't finish your meal.
A Server's Life (What They Wish You Knew)
Let me share a few things servers wish customers understood.
They don't control the kitchen. If your steak is overcooked, the server will help. But they didn't cook it. Don't shoot the messenger.
They don't set the prices. Complaining about the cost of a dish to your server accomplishes nothing. They don't own the restaurant.
They're human. They make mistakes. If your order is wrong, tell them politely. They will fix it.
They're tired. Serving is physically and emotionally exhausting. They've been on their feet for hours. They've been snapped at, stiffed, and stressed. A little kindness goes a long way.
They remember good customers (and bad ones). Be a good customer, and you'll get better service, quicker drinks, and maybe even a free dessert now and then.
How to Be a Server's Favorite Customer
Let me give you a simple checklist.
Be ready to order when the server approaches.
Look at the menu before asking for recommendations.
Order your food before asking for extras.
End phone calls before interacting with your server.
Tell your server if you're in a rush when you sit down.
Be honest about problems when the server checks on you.
Ask before moving tables.
Tip fairly (20% is standard for good service; more for exceptional service).
Be kind. A smile, a "thank you," and basic respect cost nothing.
A Final, Respectful Word
Here's what I want you to take away from this article.
Servers aren't robots. They're not servants. They're people working a hard job, often for low wages, to make a living.
The "customer is always right" mentality has created a culture where some customers feel entitled to treat servers poorly. But that's not how respect works. You don't earn respect by demanding it. You earn it by giving it.
So the next time you dine out, remember: your server is someone's parent, child, friend, or partner. They have good days and bad days. They're doing their best.
Be patient. Be kind. Tip well. And don't be the customer that servers dread.
You'll get better service, better food, and a better experience. Everyone wins.
Now I'd love to hear from you. Were you surprised by any of these? Have you ever worked as a server? What's your biggest pet peeve when dining out? Drop a comment below – I read every single one.
And if this article could help someone be a better customer, please share it with a friend who loves dining out. A text, a link, a conversation. Good manners are meant to be shared. 🍽️💁♀️💛
